Overworked In Semmes Alabama

Overworked in Semmes Alabama

 
Overworked
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my work, but now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Continue Reading →

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Semmes Neighbor Helps With Killer Jigsaw Puzzle

Killer Jigsaw Puzzle

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says:

“Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The little silver haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. Continue Reading →

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Disorder in the Court

Disorder in the Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters – who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. Continue Reading →

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The Year Is 2024

Roll Tide

The year is 2024 and the United  States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States, and she is from Georgia! A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Georgia and asks, “So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don’t think so.  It’s a long drive; your mom isn’t as young as she used to be, we’ll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee.”

“Don’t worry about it, Dad, I’ll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door,” she said. “I don’t know. Everybody will be so fancy.  What would your mother wear?”

“Oh,Dad,” she replied, “I’ll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in N.Y.”

“Honey, Dad complained, “You know we can’t eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.”

The President-elect responded, “Don’t worry, Dad.  The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. And I’ll ensure your meals are salt-free.”

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on Jan. 20, 2024 arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.  The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. Continue Reading →

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A Mean Lookin’ Cowboy From Fairview

Mean Lookin Cowboy From Fairview

A mean lookin’ cowboy was sitting by himself in a bar out in Fairview. He was a pretty intimidating sight, so no one bothered him as he downed a few whiskey and beers. After chugging his last drink he slammed some bills on the tabletop and got up to leave. Right after he left though he came storming back in and said,

“Listen up you mangey coyotes” and everyone, terrified, immediately fell silent. “Someone done took my horse. Continue Reading →

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The Lawyer’s BMW

bmw_door

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” Continue Reading →

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El Computador

El Computador

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.” A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Continue Reading →

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Why The Change at Talk Of Semmes?

Why The Change at Talk Of Semmes? Beginning on Feb. 17, I started noticing problems with the Talk Of Semmes website. It was getting slower and slower and finally around the 24th I knew I had a problem.The site began refusing to display anything except the front page. It refused to display the stories. Continue Reading →

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Mr and Mrs Jack Daniels

Semmes Alabama Couple

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. Continue Reading →

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