A father texts his son: “My dear son, today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life. My best love and good wishes Your Father.” His son texts back: “Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn’t actually until tomorrow!” His Father replies: “I know.”
To: City Of Semmes Mayor and City Council
Twice now I have heard Mayor Hale mention how antiquated the city hall computers are. Monies for replacement of the computer equipment are in the proposed budget. Now don’t take this personal but I just don’t trust the government. Acutally, I don’t care if you do take it personally but it sounded good. What does the mayor and city council plan to do with those computers?
One of your local councilmen suggested that I might steer Talk Of Semmes content towards a more pleasing and uplifiting theme. Never one to avoid trying something new, here is my first attempt:
A Semmes senior citizen called her husband, a Semmes councilman, during his drive home. “I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Highway 98. Please be careful!” The councilman replied, “It’s not just one car.
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb. About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch.
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, ”$2000.”
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
”What about the green one?” the man asks.